my parents helped me move into my apartment Friday and Saturday. i should have been excited, especially after things started to look clean and the space started to feel like “mine.” but almost all day Saturday, i found myself on the verge of tears. it felt as if i were being assaulted by fear. myriad what ifs buzzed around my head like angry wasps, questioning my ability to live alone, to handle the work ahead of me, even to become an effective physician.
after reading about how to conquer inadequacy through Christ, talking to my parents, and trying to reassure myself with Bible verses, prayers, and common sense, the negative thoughts still did not leave me completely. i can only hope that these doubts will eventually fade, and if they don’t, i pray that they won’t immobilize me or keep me from reaching my full potential.